Boom Goes the Dynamite

When I consider their parents, it should come as no surprise that the twins are jerks in the making.  Recent check-ups prove this.  There was one appointment a few weeks ago when the tech advised that she could probably get some really good pics of the girl, as she was sleeping.  Before the ultrasound probe was put into position, however, the boy started kicking the girl in the head.  She woke up unimpressed.  I would like to say that an in-utero cage match ensued, but it did not. 

The girl did, however, retaliate in a big way. The spiteful creature cut off the food supply.  I like to think that she physically and purposely pinched his umbilical cord shut.  Whether that is true is debatable. The result is the same.

Sara's appointment of last Thursday revealed that the girl is growing much faster than the boy.  Should that situation continue, there is a danger that the girl will start sucking up all of the nutrients, in which case the twins would have to be removed early, because otherwise the boy might, um, die. As if this is not enough of a problem, early extraction means they would both be born with underdeveloped lungs and likely suffer from bronchopulmonary dysplasia - which basically results in reduced lung function, susceptibility to respiratory illness, and lowered life expectancy.  For further details, see Google.  Sara had to get steroid shots to speed up their development. ("And boom goes the dynamite," Chris said, as the nurse pushed in the plunger).

But these are all details.  My selfish reaction to the news that the births might be sooner than expected was to exclaim that it couldn't happen because I wasn't ready.

Seriously, though, I'm not ready.  And not just because I don't have a dramatic finish planned for the blog.  Hold them in a little longer, please.*

*I drafted this a few days ago.  In the intervening time the boy has started growing normally again.  I'm not sure whether there can possibly be anyone happier about this than me.  Other than the expectant** parents, obviously.

**I am growing tired of the word "expectant" and decided to look up synonyms.  These included "great, anticipant, large, anticipative, enceinte, big, gravid, heavy, and, with child".  For some reason, you can't look up synonyms without also being subjected to antonyms, of which in this case, there were only two: "non-pregnant" and "hopeless".  Ouch.  Cheers to my hopeless future.