Do you have any Grey Poupon?

I have a confession to make.  I've never seen Wayne's World.  Wayne's World 2, several times (it's on TV on Saturday afternoons sometimes), but not the original.

It doesn't mean that the Wayne's World-isms of early 90's pop culture escapd my notice, and it certainly hasn't stopped me from enjoying related merchandise.  My Wayne's World ball cap* is one of my favourite hats.

There's also the Wayne's World companion reader, a book sadly not in my possession.  It doesn't even register on indigo.ca, which leads me to believe it's so long out of print** it basically never even existed.  There is something called Wayne's World:  Extreme Close Up available on Amazon (used for $.01) which might be what I'm thinking of, but the description is a little lacking.  The one review describes it as a "verry funny book", and celebrates that it teaches you how to fish-hook.  I may have to invest one cent***, plus shipping, to confirm. 

I have no need of having the book at my disposal, however, because the poetry section has been committed to memory.  This came to mind the other day for no apparent reason (maybe because I heard Bohemian Rhapsody on the radio), and I feel like sharing.  I give you, "Am I a Man":


If I feel pain

Am I a man?

If I appreciate beauty

Am I a man?

If I abhor intolerance

Am I a man?

If I see harmony

Am I a man?

If I choose to love instead of hate

If I choose to unite instead of divide

If I choose peace over war...

Am I a man?

If I have a vagina and two lactating breasts

Am I a man?

I guess not

Splash.



*

Cabbage Patch doll recent acquisition from my parent's house.  I wonder if they still have Philomina Hyacinth's birth certificate.


**The thought of one great Canadian and books now out of print reminds me of something else.  I am sometimes a nerd for Canadiana and was very pleased to happen upon an old copy of a Catherine Parr Traill book, Pearls and Pebbles, formerly property of Omemee High School, when second-hand browsing on the weekend.  Omemee High School has been closed so long I couldn't even find it on Google.  I only know Omemee exists because it's the town where Neil Young spent his first 7 years of life, and his song Helpless is partially based on it (see?  Canadiana nerd). Catherine Parr Traill is a notable Canadian naturalist of the 19th century.  I bought the book intending to read it - which I did, and enjoyed, for a couple of other nerdy reasons I won't go into.  Out of curiosity, I also Googled it, and it appears that I paid $3.99 for a first edition worth several hundred dollars in its imperfect condition.  It's not that I care about the idea that I could turn around and sell it for at least 50 times more than it cost me, because I plan to keep it.  I mention this experience only because other items that cost $3.99 at Value Village that day included an Old Navy tank top, which probably cost 4 bucks when it was new, and a Ziploc bag full of half-used crayons. 

***RIP to the penny.  The last Canadian penny was minted earlier this month, and they're going to start taking it out of circulation later this year.