I've learned that there has been some interest in my proposed children's book, "Why Are You Crying?"
And I'm open to suggestion. I'm thinking of "Why Are You Crying?" as an actual children's book, sort of a "Boy Who Cried Wolf" for the modern child, and "I'll Give You Something To Cry About" as the adult companion reader. The trouble is, I'm really not sure what could be considered a reasonable and not entirely terrifying suggestion for a small child, and what is without question inappropriate and clearly intended only for an adult audience. Some of the options are clear to me, some of them not so much. Please tell me which is which. I have a neverending source (it seems) of why a small child might really burst into tears. My list of possible suggestions of what could be much, much worse is as follows:
"Are you being chased by ravenous wolves?"
"Is someone trying to sell you into slavery?"
"Is a hungry grizzly tearing you limb from limb?"
"Are you being attacked by ninjas?"
"Have you been kidnapped by aliens? Are they about to perform heinous experiments on you?"
"Have you contracted the ebola virus?"
"Are you detoxing and would do anything for a fix?"
"Are you being murdered?"
"Have you been on a killing spree, feel the long arm of the law closing in, and have just now realized that you don't want to go to prison?"
"Have the neighbours reported me to CAS because with all the crying and screeching they think that I'm abusing you horribly, and now someone is coming to take you away?"
"Has your house been swept away by a tsunami and you've lost all of your worldly possessions, including your new puppy?"
"This sounds serious. Take this doll, and show me where he touched you."
"Did you just watch 'The Notebook'?"
Etc. I could go on all day. This stuff almost writes itself.
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