Several weeks ago I attended a street festival which involved some "harvest" type decor. I saw a boy of about 6 sit on top of a pumpkin. He said "ouch", of course, when the stem touched him a little more intimately than is probably legal to describe. Which wouldn't necessarily be something I'd remember after the time lapse - except that he did it again. And again. And again. And again. His father eventually took the pumpkin away. Stripped of his pumpkin entertainment, the same boy ripped off his shirt and started dancing very energetically.
Which isn't to suggest that I witnessed the beginnings of this young man's homosexuality. I expect that might be offensive*. But. Well. He didn't even try to re-position the pumpkin each time he sat on it. Which yes, could be because kids are kind of stupid and he was expecting something different - ie, not being penetrated by the pumpkin - on subsequent tries. Or... ?
I had a brush with gayness of my own a couple of weeks ago at the streetcar stop. The other person waiting informed me that I'd just missed the car, and then engaged me in conversation. I'm not saying she was a lesbian just because she had a short haircut and was definitely wearing men's jeans. I expect that might be offensive. And I'm not saying she was hitting on me just because she engaged me in conversation, over the course of which she gave me some pretty explicit directions on how to get to her house and mentioned that she wished she had a friend like me. And, once we reached the subway station and parted ways, she said wistfully, "Maybe we'll meet at the streetcar stop again someday".
It's possible she thought that I checked her out first - I'd forgotten my glasses and squinted my way toward the stop, only realizing I was staring at someone when about 3 feet away.
I'm not sure if this next example counts as a brush with gayness. It's not unusual for men to hold open doors for me. Not that I'm so arrogant as to think that this is me-specific, rather than a societal convention. I hold doors open for men and women alike just because I'm polite like that, but only insofar as I'll give the door an energetic push to keep it open for whoever's following behind me. Unlike the men opening doors for me, I don't stop, open the door, and wait for people to pass, unless they're really old or disabled or have their hands full.
I don't think I've ever had a woman stop, open the door for me, and wait for me to go through until last Thursday. Said woman may or may not have given me what could be considered a suggestive smile. Needless to say, my hands were not full, nor am I elderly, nor do I have any obvious disabilities. Otherwise I would have thought nothing of it.
I went on one one my quarterly grocery shopping expeditions last night. Inside the store, I happened across 4 or 5 pairs of men who slightly resembled each other, shopping together. Since couples slightly resemble each other sometimes, I was inspired to take their pictures and start a website called "Brothers or Lovers?" Not that I care whether they were gay or not, but I've usually got pretty accurate gaydar and I couldn't figure them out.
So maybe I had gayness on the brain already when I was waiting - and waiting - and waiting - for the cab I'd called to pick me up. I waited so long, in fact, that there was a woman who saw me standing in the entrance next to my full grocery cart both on her way into the store and on her way out. After leaving her own groceries in her car, she came back into the store on purpose to ask me if I was waiting for a cab and if so, if she could offer me a ride home. I'm not saying she was a lesbian just because she had a short haircut, was clearly wearing men's jeans, and offered a complete stranger a ride home from the grocery store. But it seems a little beyond common courtesy**.
Have I been exuding a gay vibe lately or am I jumping to (conceited) conclusions? Not that I particularly care if I'm giving off a gay vibe. I'm pretty sure f I was a lesbian I'd know by now, so it's not like it's bringing on a sexual identity crisis. But I hate to think I'm being misleading. Maybe I should stop wearing men's jeans***.
Chris and Sara mentioned not long into the pregnancy that they didn't care whether either of the twins were gay, as long as they were happy.
I don't think there's much chance of Molly being a lesbian. She has a horror of men with moustaches, but has intense love for virtually all others****.
I don't think Jack is exhibiting any predilections one way or another. Except, maybe, towards snacks. Everything else is cool with him. The only thing that seems to bother him is being laughed at, as discovered last Friday after he'd hit his head against the side of a wooden rocking chair repeatedly and kept on smiling. It was only after his babysitter mentioned that he does stuff like that all the time and everyone looked at him and laughed that he started crying. Which isn't a sign of homosexuality, of course, but I'm thinking that since he's sensitive to ridicule, he might need some encouragement to come out of the closet, should he one day find himself in the closet*****.
I guess we'll know more when they turn twelve******.
*Really. None of this is intended to be offensive towards the LGBT community.
**Second website idea: "Lesbian or Kind Gesture?"
***I have not actually been wearing men's jeans.
****A sign of at least some selective judgment, in that she already knows to steer clear of hipsters, child molesters, and Magnum P.I. Movember might be a difficult month.
*****Not that homosexuality = ridicule. Except, a lot of the time, it does. We don't live in nearly as enlightened an age as people sometimes think. The stereotypes I have shamelessly used are not meant in any derogatory way. It's not my fault if I've told these things as they actually happened.
******When Sara and her sister were teenagers, they convinced their younger brother that when he turned twelve, the Gay Fairy would come and tell him whether he was gay or straight. He was terrified.
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