Friday, March 25, 2011

First Comes Love


Sara requested that I drink Guinness or similar for St. Patrick's Day, and while drinking think of how she herself would be sitting somewhere angrily nursing a root beer. 

I have this to say:  Guinness is the alcohol that drinks like a meal.  The following is a summary of the nutritional content found in 1 litre, as I found on one very reliable internet source:
alcohol: 30 g carbohydrate: 30 g protein: 3 g phosphorus: 557 mg iron: 0.3 mg sodium: 25 mg potassium: 300 mg calcium: 54 mg magnesium: 133 mg thiamine (vitamin B1): 0.04 mg riboflavin (vitamin B2): 0.4 mg pyridoxine (vitamin B6): 0.6 mg nicotinic acid (niacin): 6 mg biotin: 0.01 mg folic acid: 0.07 mg. 
I'm a little suspicious that "nicotinic acid" does not exist, but look at all those other vitamins and nutrients.  I am seriously considering using Guinness as a meal replacement in future, sort of like a Boost or Carnation Instant Breakfast. 
I have to confess I'm not a huge stout fan, however, so I switched to cider before long. 
On our way home from the bar, my drinking companion and I stopped at a convenience store for some candy and I impulsively bought a tube of candy hearts – the Valentine’s Day kind that involve inscriptions like “Date Me”, “Be Mine”, etc.  Someone really should spice things up in the candy heart game, because while some of the epitaphs were quite apt (“Groovy Chick” and “Grow Up”), most of the messages are the same ones that have been used since the invention of candy hearts back in the 1860’s. 
Incidentally, I think I may have a real talent for writing confectionary copy and should apply it to a new career.  Once I selected a theme and found an online application for the generation of your own candy hearts  it was really quite easy.  Perhaps I will delve into greeting cards and singing telegrams as well.





1 comment:

  1. To clarify, if you hit someone with a phonebook it is very unlikely that it will leave a bruise. I thought everybody knew that.

    ReplyDelete