Either way, my work social events always conclude in some manner of mess.
All of these socials involve an open bar. The summer socials also, invariably, involve a team building competition. Perhaps it is inevitable that when you take the spirit of competition and add limitless alcohol that flip cup will ensue.
But first, the other competition. It was an Amazing Race inspired event which my team was so disinterested in that we were at the bar doing tequila shots as the rules were being explained, thus missing the part about how we would only get our first clue after beating other teams in answering a trivia question.
More than half of the teams were gone before we figured out what was going on. However, after that, I dominated at trivia. The question was this:
In what movie did a character played by Paul Reiser say the following: "Look, this is an emotional moment for all of us, okay? I know that. But, let's not make snap judgments, please. This is clearly-clearly an important species we're dealing with and I don't think that you or I, or anybody, has the right to arbitrarily exterminate them."***
I also dominated at the American Gladiators style jousting competition. Not because I was especially good at it, pent-up aggression aside. However, with my awe-inspiring balance and core strength (ahem) I could not, and would not, be knocked down. I wore my opponent down very, very slowly: eventually he fell from sheer exhaustion****.
Last, I dominated at flip cup. I sat out the first couple of rounds because I didn't want to aggravate a summer cold by drinking to excess, but then I decided what the hell. I quickly earned the role of team anchor, and we didn't lose once*****.
The evening ended with me demonstrating that I can do the splits on a city sidewalk. Not that I can only do the splits on a city sidewalk. I can do them anywhere. I maintain that it's an accomplishment not many women of my advanced age can boast of. However... if you're ever hanging out with me and I pose the question, "Wanna see me do the splits?", it might be advisable to get me a piece of bread and a glass of water.
On the thought of the splits, this has been one of the most eventful weeks of my life in terms of the ending of relationships******. If anyone asks after me, you can find me in my apartment listening to a break-up mix, which currently involves only a Whitesnake song set to repeat.
*http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hot+mess
I only scanned through the first 7 or 8 definitions. All are possibly applicable. If I say so myself.
**If you don't know what flip cup is... well, I'm surprised. I'd never actually played it before (another surprise) but I still knew what is was. Here is an instructional video for the uninitiated:
***Answer: Aliens. Apart from the Star Wars and Star Trek franchises, I don't even particularly like sci-fi. But I do like movies where female leads kick serious ass. And... who hasn't seen Aliens? Though, it may take a certain personality type to know (1) who Paul Reiser is, (2) that he's only been in like 3 movies, and (3) of that limited selection, that quote could only have come from one movie. That movie being Aliens.
****I've recovered from some bruises which I blame entirely on the jousting. None of the photos I took worked out, so you'll have to believe me when I say these bruises had a strange paw-print pattern, which made it look like I'd been in a slap-fight with a bear cub or a labradoodle.
*****how does one join the Beer Olympics? Is it selected by country or fraternity or what? I don't want to find myself alone in a room 15 years from now muttering, "I coulda been a contender".
******
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