I got a voicemail the other day from one of my parental friends who wanted to tell me that his young daughter had asked him that evening if she could put a gerbil in Mr. Potato Head's bum. He thought that I would find this endlessly amusing.
I was disturbed. I don't think that there are any preschoolers who would come up with gerbil and rectum as part of the same thought sequence and decide to put the two together, thinking "Of course!!" Who had this child been hanging out with? Where would she have heard about such a past time?
The story had been recounted to me out of context, fortunately. I'd forgotten that along with an assortment of eyes, noses, mouths and hats to choose from, Mr. Potato Head comes with his own butt plug, so that you can store his various parts and other odds and ends inside his cavity. The child had a new eraser in the shape of a gerbil that she wanted to keep in there.
Relief. I think three and a half is a little young for the Richard Gere talk, don't you?